Tank Hill: Twin Peaks is fun and all, but Tank Hill is it’s lesser known, less popular sister across the city with similar great views. So, well, go there and, you know, feel her up or maybe finger her, make her feel kinda pretty compared to her popular, beautiful bitch sister.
Chrissy Fields: This park and beach under the Golden Gate is usually full of snotty kids and their nannies, but it’s totally fun to come here with a flask of whiskey and park yer ass on the secret beach alcove right under the bridge, because no one is usually there and the view is pretty amazing. But if I see you there, I’m totally going to pretend I don’t recognize you.
The Bathhouse ruins: Stroll around the ruins of the old Sutros bathhouse, go through the tunnel and climb around on the rocks, all the while imagining tons of young boys giving each other hand jobs under the water in 1896.
That one bench below the Legion of Honor in the Presidio: this is by no way a secret bike/walking path, but no one who lives in SF really ever goes out there. If you bike through the Presidio and make your way up the hill towards the LOH, it’s halfway up the hill. Take a breather, sit on the bench and look out onto the ocean. You can see the Marin headlands, the GG bridge, and on a clear day, the Farallons. It’s just beautiful enough to turn you totally gay.
