Ti Couz: Whenever a friend moves out of SF, we have dinner here and pretend we all have money. It’s delicious & always makes you feel kinda fancy even though you’re ass drunk & will probably get called a cunt by a bum on your way home. 3108 16th st in the Mission
Moulin Rouge: My brother used to live across the street from this cafe so we’d always go there for cheap breakfasts and the owners thought it was cute that we hung out together so they’d be super nice and give my brother tons of extra bacon because he’s skinny. The food is typical cheap diner food and the coffee is watery, but the atmosphere will charm yer pants right off. However, get ready to sit on the shitter all afternoon because they use tons of grease. Delicious, delicious grease. 887 Geary St in the Tenderloin
Herbivore: There are two Herbivore cafés in SF, but it doesn’t really matter which one you go do, as long as you order the blueberry corn bread. They also have a pretty good falafel with French fries and pickles, which are the delicious secret ingredients to falafels that you normally have to ask for, but not here. This place is one of the few places you can take that annoying out of town vegan friend and not have to suffer due to their unfortunate lifestyle choice. 983 Valencia or 531 Divisadero
Cha Cha Cha: I don’t have much to say about this place except that when they answer the phone, they yell “Cha! Cha! Cha!” and I think it’s funny. Um, the sangria and black bean soup are good. 1801 Haight st or 2327 Mission st
